Peace in the Storm

There's nothing like a quick trip to the emergency room to test your peace. How about twice in one day? That's how Christmas Eve 2010 began for my husband and me. Tim had all of the signs of a profusely bleeding ulcer, and before the 4 day hospital stay was over, he would receive 7 pints of blood.

Early Christmas Eve afternoon, his doctor recommended that I go home for a few hours with the family and suggested that I bring them to the hospital for a visit later. Emily, Sarah and Peter had organized an elaborate treasure hunt for Howard and Maggie - well written clues for an eight and four year old who were finding it hard to wait for Christmas presents. What fun we were having watching them go from site to site - until Howard hit his leg on the grate that covers a cook pit down at the Manshack. We adults blanched at the sight of the gaping wound, but he dropped his pant leg and raced toward the next clue. An hour later the treasure hunt was over and we were on our way back to the ER for stitches and a visit with Pappy in RM 104.

Don't get me wrong, I hurt for my loved ones, and I was disappointed that our Christmas celebration and Emily's birthday celebration had taken a different turn. But the peace of Jesus was there just like He promised. I even got to pray for another woman whose husband had just come into the ER.

Three days later we got to come home. Tim's blood count was stable and he was regaining his strength, but we left not having a definitive answer for what caused it. More tests would be required.

While we were so grateful to be a home with the current crisis under control, Tuesday found both of us feeling exhausted physically and spiritually. Thankfully, Jesus knows how we feel. Emmanuel, God with us, has experienced everything He asks of us. His love kept coming to us in many forms during this time of waiting - family, friends and personal words of encouragement coming from blogs, daily readings based on scripture and a new little devotional book DRINK DEEPLY WITH DELIGHT by Howard Hanger. (I don't endorse all of his views, but I can't argue with this truth.) Deuteronomy 32:36-39 "God will have compassion on God's servants when their power is gone." One little page of modern commentary on an old truth changed everything. We were feeling like a "pile of pounded poop" and just about as worthless." Love may be an action word; but love is active even when we aren't. Love is alive when we feel dead. Love is vibrant when we're whipped." (pp.14)

It's His love. His perfect love casts out fear. His love saves. Not only in terms of our eternal destiny, but He saves us daily from ourselves. On Thursday, we got some disappointing news requiring a change in direction for Tim's treatment. Hoping to quell the disturbing thoughts, I decided to take down the Christmas tree. Two hours later, my hands were aching and my temper was reaching volcanic proportions as I reached for the wire cutters - that last strand of lights was wound so tightly around the trunk of the tree that a sacrifice was in order. With each cut and pull, I felt worse - the job was getting done, but the emotional dam was breaking - tears, language I'll not repeat here, pent up anger pouring out as I sobbed - broken by a Christmas tree. Where was the peace?

JESUS to the rescue! He saved me from myself once again. Just as I thought I was going to that place of no return, I noticed that I had tracked fresh puppy poop around the garage and into the kitchen. I started to laugh inside. Once again a little critter had been used to snatch me back from a dark place. I forgot about how bad I was feeling and started cleaning up the mess. I asked God to forgive me for taking my anger out on the tree lights instead of taking it to Him. Received His forgiveness and Tim's. Peace restored - the peace that goes beyond our understanding. A peace that comes from being unconditionally loved. A peace that comes from a love not based on my performance.

HIS peace is real whether it's in the throws of emergency room drama or the emotional tempest that follows. He whispers sweet PEACE to me. Peace, peace, be still.

Peace From a Quote

A couple of weeks ago, I randomly turned on the radio in my car to hear Chuck Swindoll say, "It's not your job to clean the fish bowl; just clean up your own stuff." He was speaking about relationships - meaning that while we can't change another person's behavior, we can do something about ours.

Putting that little phrase into action has brought so much peace as I look at the fish bowl of family, church and life in general. I am so thankful that God only holds me accountable for my actions. He brings them to my attention, calls me to take responsibility and then gives me the grace to clean up my mess.

When I take care of "my stuff," I find the prayer of Paul in II Thessalonians 3:16 becoming a reality: "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way."

Peace Is A Journey

The journey into the blogging world begins with the first post. With giddy delight, I'm taking this step. You can't see my face, but picture a toddler's expression when she has made her first vertical journey! Though the distance may be measured in inches lacking grace and form, the thrill of forward motion is undeniable. Lurking somewhere behind that smile is fear. Hopefully it's a healthy fear instilling the appropriate caution needed when developing a new skill. Not a paralyzing fear that keeps nose and eyes to the floor in front of her. The very important learning season of crawling is over. She will no longer be restrained by having to coordinate four limbs at once and seeing things at floor level.

Keep this analogy in mind as you read. I'm taking this first step because I was meant to tell a story. Just like babies are expected to crawl then walk as a natural progression of God given design, I was designed to be a story teller - verbal and written. Bear with me as I toddle through this first attempt. My prayer is that my stories will encourage you just as I have been encouraged by others.

Whenever I start something new, I remember a picture shown to me by a good friend. It's a picture of Jesus helping a toddler learn to walk. Imagine the look of encouraging delight on His face. Feel the warmth of His hands as he steadies your balance. And hear the tenderness in His voice when you fall. I'm counting on that picture becoming reality as I lovingly experience Him say, "Good job, it's okay, try again, let ME help you."

Maybe you're taking a first step today. Maybe it's a delightful step into something fun and exciting. Or maybe it's a step into something that is difficult and sad. From one who knows, trust me...........HE is trustworthy, and He will be there for you.

There will be more stories to come - my journey of peace began with a promise: John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."